Silvercodes

It was as if the world had blinked and found itself hurtling into a blinding state of bedlam. I knew the signs and it needed help… so I hunkered down into a place of sentient sanity, a would-be haven of illustriously chaotic thoughts: my mind palace.

Just in time. The clouds had pooled to form a new sky, signalling the beginning of a new life of hiding from an invisible foe. Just in time, as an introvert and an introvert had just walked into a bar only to leave because it’s on lockdown.

“Perfect! Just what I needed. And of course, where else does the daily stress go when the routine vanishes?”

His friend shrugs and they start to walk.               

“Everywhere. It’s in the crisp air. It’s in the empty. It’s in the quiet. You know, I thought I loved this quiet. I thought I loved not getting out of bed at 5am and having to work. But I guess those were all distractions from having to think about everything else. I am my own madness.” A tired sigh. “I need serenity.”

“That was almost poetic.” He bums a cigarette. “You should get turned away more often. Maybe you’ll write a book.”

“Hey! You can’t blame me for getting a bit edgy. It’s the end of the week, I needed that drink!”

“Of course, everything always has to happen to you. A pandemic starts and all you can think about is having a spoiled weekend.”

That’s just the start though, I’m just getting into the depression little by little so it doesn’t shock me. You can’t have me go from ‘Everything’s Fine’ to ‘HELP ME.’ You don’t want to see that.”

“Believe me, I’m having a hard time seeing you altogether.”

“…”

“Wait- are you crying?”

“I can’t help it!”

“You can’t cry on the street!”

“Well who’s here to see me anyway!? Nobody, that’s who.” He blubbers into his handkerchief. “Nobody ever sees me…”

“Oh, chri-. Are you on your period?”

“Yes! That’s exactly what you say to someone who’s upset! Congratulations, you’ve gone and upgraded to HELP ME.”

“Well then go back! This is the first time I’ve made anybody cry!”

“Every time I pick myself up and think I’m ready to start a new chapter some shit like this happens!” He mumbles.

“You’ve only had one pandemic in your lifetime.”

“And it’s taking away everything I hold dear!”

“For a month, pal. Taking it away for just a month. Try to look at it from a sane person’s perspective.”

He calms down.

“All right. I’ll tell you a joke.”

He looks at his friend disparagingly. “How could that possibly even make me feel better? You say you want me to be sane and yet you push me into having every possible emotion for the next half hour!”

His friend looks at him, then continues walking.“…Now I won’t tell you the joke.”

“Ah! Whatever…” He wipes his eyes. “I can self-soothe. I don’t even know why I talk to you.”

“Maybe it’s because I can listen to the words, ‘self-soothe’ and still have some form of respect for you.”

“Sure. Of all the people I know, you’re the one that respects me the most.”

“Although it dwindles every day.”

“Forget it. It’s fine. I’m fine. I’ve had it all out and I’m back to normal.”

“Back to your normal kind of insane?”

“Back to my normal kind of insane.”

And now I’ve mirrored the world.